HAPPY FATHERS DAY
Today is part 2 of our special Fathers Day edition blogs. A little bit longer, but I think you will benefit from the revelation of the importance of dads.
Father’s Day is a celebration, honouring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society.
(That has to be true because it’s from Wikipedia…lol)
Following are more incredible reasons why your job as a dad is so critical in the life of your children. In our western culture, the role of dad has been down played and now research is bringing back the incredible value fathers bring.
One on one with dad
Fathers spend a much higher percentage of their one-on-one interaction with infants and preschoolers in stimulating, playful activity than do mothers. From these interactions, children learn how to regulate their feelings and behavior. Rough-housing with dad, for example, can teach children how to deal with aggressive impulses and physical contact without losing control of their emotions.
Good relationships with dad
One study of school-aged children found that children with good relationships with their fathers were less likely to experience depression, to exhibit disruptive behavior, or to lie and were more likely to exhibit pro-social behavior.
This same study found that boys with involved fathers had fewer school behavior problems and that girls had stronger self-esteem.
Living with the father
Numerous studies have found that children who live with their fathers are more likely to have good physical and emotional health, to achieve academically, and to avoid drugs, violence, and delinquent behavior
Apparent withdrawal of a father’s love
The love — or rejection — of mothers and fathers equally affects kids’ behavior, self-esteem, emotional stability, and mental health. “But in some cases, the withdrawal of a father’s love seems to play a bigger role in kids’ problems with personality and psychological adjustment, delinquency, and substance abuse,” says study coauthor Ronald P. Rohner, Ph.D., director of the Center for the Study of Parental Acceptance and Rejection at the University of Connecticut in Storrs
Fathers and daughters
A father’s influence in his daughter’s life shapes her self-esteem, self-image, confidence and opinions of men. “How Dad approaches life will serve as an example for his daughter to build off of in her own life, even if she chooses a different view of the world,” says Michael Austin, associate professor of philosophy at Eastern Kentucky University
A dad’s involvement in his daughter’s life is a crucial ingredient in the development of a young woman’s self-esteem. Austin identifies positive elements of “common sense” parenting for dads so they can help support their daughter’s self-image and curb any possibility of low self-esteem: Verbal encouragement, being consistently present in her life, being alert and sensitive to her feelings, taking time to listen to her thoughts and taking an active interest in her hobbies. “It’s important to actually do these things, which can sometimes be quite challenging,” Austin adds. Direct involvement and encouragement by her father will help diminish a girl’s insecurity and increase her confidence in her own abilities.
Respect of women – particularly mother
The type of men that women date and have long-term relationships with are also directly related to the kind of relationship a girl has with her father. Obviously, the hope is that the father figure in a girl’s life will aim to skew that young lady’s opinions of men in a positive way. “He must, first and foremost, treat his daughter with respect and love. Whether or not he is married to or still together with his daughter’s mum, showing respect to her mother is essential as well,” explains Austin. “He must also value women as human beings, and not as persons to be used. Daughters will see what their dads believe about women by how they value and respect women, or by how they fail to do so.”
Other important points for dads
Just being physically present isn’t enough to be a great father. It is critical that a dad be warm and emotionally available to his child. Author and researcher, John Gottman, describes this kind of father as an “emotion coaching father.” Emotion Coaches are parents who listen to their children’s feelings, see the sharing of feelings as an opportunity for intimacy, and validate their children’s emotions. The Gottman group found that some dads are terrific for their kids and some dads are awful for them. It is not just the mere presence and availability of fathers that matters, but exactly how they are present.
While children may not always recognize the importance dad plays in their lives, most children long for and need a loving, involved and responsible father or father-figure. It is far more important to be emotionally engaged in the life of your child than, say the newspaper, your hobby or even your job – the Gottman group.
Hopefully you now have a greater understanding of the importance of fathers and the role they play to the benefit of society.
Maybe the mothers can encourage the great input of fathers as well. No one can dispute the importance of mothers, but now we can take some of the pressure off mothers for having all of the great input into children. And fathers are often known simply as the disciplinarian, yet their input and validation in so many other areas are vitally important.
Happy Fathers Day!!!