The first 2 elements that create culture are
1) what you allow
2) what you don’t allow
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The third element is what you demonstrate or, in other words, how you live your life.
Long Long ago…
This may be quite a feat, however, if you can stretch back in your mind and remember being a child just for a minute. Do you recall 1 or 2 people who you admired more than any other? It could have been a teacher a coach, one of your parents, music teacher, neighbour, you know who it is and they were very influential on you and in a lot of ways determined your behaviour. This would also be largely because of their obvious care for you.
You may recall that you started to alter your speech and your actions, and you actually wanted to be like that person. You wanted to do what you could to please that them.
OK now back into the present again. Have you noticed that your children and others around you are either following what you do, or possibly going in the opposite direction? Well it’s no real surprise, we’ve all done the same thing.
As our children are growing, they are actually taking more notice of us while being influenced more than we realise.
I remember when my eldest children were 2 and 3 years old, they were just talking normally and all of a sudden I heard these expressions come out of their mouths.
To be sure I’d heard right, I asked them what they said, and yep, I had heard right. I was not impressed. I needed to know who was influencing them in this way, so I asked them where they had heard that from, who had said it. The answer was quite a shock and I knew it wasn’t true. They said they had heard me say it. Of course I denied it. Then I thought about it. They were right. Without knowing it, I was influencing my children by my behaviour. In this case, it wasn’t in a good way.
Nothing desperately bad, but there are some things that kids just shouldn’t say. It’s easy to think that what we are doing is not bad, however it is influencing them and taking them in either a positive direction which will help them in life, or a negative direction which…won’t.
So who needed to check themselves?
I then noticed that I needed to adjust my behaviour and speech on a number of levels because they are watching and copying. This is a big determining factor in my children’s behaviour.
What behaviours and values are you demonstrating?
Are these the values and behaviours you are wanting your children to embrace?