Anyone who has a teenager will relate to these three diary entries in some way. You will recognize the demands for freedom, the cry for total independent and the undertone that says, “Don’t you dare try and tell me what to do!” Take heart today. I have mentored hundreds of young people over the year and most of them come through it just fine!
Dear Diary 1
I can’t breathe in this house. LITERALLY! I am suffocating! My parents just won’t leave me alone. I can’t do anything without them knowing. They watch me like a hawk with evil eyes! They want to control everything in my life!!!!! My mum put a lock on my computer because I was staying up till 2am on it. Now I give attitude to her because my computer locks me out when everyone gets on. It is on a stupid timer thing that I HATE! I get so so so so mad. I yell @ her. My dad said that if I didn’t stop giving my mum attitude he would take the computer away. They are totally ridiculous. What am I going to with without the computer? It will only make things worse between us. Get out of my life parents and leave me alone. That would make things better.
Dear Diary 2
My parents want to know everything. Mum even came into my room today. I can tell because stuff is moved and she puts things away where I can’t find them. I don’t want her anywhere near my stuff. It is NONE of her business. It is MY space and MY life and they should keep out. She makes me so mad when she thinks she can come in and just touch things. And I don’t want her to clean my room ever. I have private stuff in here. I like it messy. It is the way I am. She might think it’s a problem but I don’t. Every day they say, How was your day? What happened today? Like I want to tell them and have a big chat about stuff they just won’t understand. What do they know about anything! They just check up on me all the time. I can’t do anything! I can’t wait until I can leave home and do whatever I want to do. I won’t have anyone tell me what to do anymore. I want to make my own choices. They are constantly nagging me about my homework and they won’t let me go out. They won’t let me do anything like getting a piercing or having a boyfriend. They won’t even let a boy talk to me for more than 10 minutes on the phone without dad saying, Time to get off now. And they breathe down my neck when I am on the internet like I am looking at porn or something. They don’t trust me which is stupid because I can take care of myself. No one else has parents like mine. They just don’t get that I am grown up and I don’t need them hanging onto me like a baby anymore. They don’t understand that I don’t need them anymore. I can make up my own mind and make my own decisions. Like my dad will EVER be ok with that!
Katie xx oo
Dear Diary 3
I don’t want to talk to my mum about things. She is a total b****. She is the last person in the world I want to talk to. I just wish she would leave me alone and get the f*** out of my life. I have nothing to say. Sometimes you can’t talk to your parents like you can your friends. Like if you have a boyfriend and you say you are in love, they say you can’t be because you are too young. I was going out with Beau and my mum hated him. She tried to put a restraining order on him which is totally weird. And she wonders why I don’t want to talk to a freak! I can do whatever I want to because it’s my f****** body and my life and she can’t control what I do. If I want to drink alcohol that is my business! She just doesn’t get that I don’t need her anymore. It’s time for her to back off and get out.
THANK YOU to everyone who has been passing these blog posts on, and for all your kind emails about their impact on your family. If you have a topic you would like me to blog about email me at email@example.com and I will respond to it as soon as I can.
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MOST IMPORTANTLY if your teenager needs support from a psychologist, counsellor or mentor Youth Excel would love to help. You can contact me at email@example.com.
What Teenage Girls Don’t Tell their Parents is available at www.michellemitchell.org for $24.95 plus postage.