The Joy of Saying No!

Who has trouble saying no?  I bet if we were sitting in a room filled with Moms, every hand would go up.  “No” is one of the hardest words for women to say.  We have no problem telling our children no, but yet, we can’t seem to use it for ourselves.  And don’t you find it interesting that, “no” is usually one of the first words your sweet little babies say!

Women by nature are people-pleasers – we like to take care of people.  In essence, I think a lot of the times, we like to feel needed.  We desire for people to like us and stamp approval on our foreheads.  Women don’t like to disappoint others to the point we practically kill ourselves to make everyone happy.  Saying “no” might seem selfish, but actually, it is the exact opposite.  It is taking up for ourselves – it is taking a stand for us and our families!  Those precious bodies in our homes count on us, and we need to remember them when we are driving all over the city doing things we should have said “no” to.  I honestly believe, “no” is a word that can bring freedom, it can provide self-nurturance to our weary souls.

Our personal value is not determined by how creative the school snack was that practically killed us because it wasn’t PP – you know, “Pinterest Perfect.”  It is not determined if we are not on PTA.  It is not determined if we are on PTA.  It is not determined if we volunteer in church nursery (that was never my strong suit).  It is determined by who God made us to be – He chose YOU to be the exact mother your kids need!

Are our choices really choices, or are they habits?  A tough question, but one to consider when contemplating our to-do lists.  Saying “no” can actually bring freedom back to our lives.  It is okay to let go of traditions that don’t make sense anymore, in fact, maybe it is time to make new ones that don’t make mommy crazy!  Give yourself permission today to put you and your family’s needs first, even if disappointing others is a possibility.  People learn to adapt, and if they are true friends, and family who love you unconditionally, they will embrace that you have to make changes for YOU.

Changing habits, routines and traditions are not signs of weakness.  Letting go of these areas can be difficult for the people who are close to you, but don’t let that stop you from changing your life for the better.  This courage to say “no” is a way of bringing happiness into the home that one day long ago you dreamt of.  Remember the dream you had as a young girl?  I want to grow up, get married, and have kids.  Guess what you are living that dream (maybe not how you envisioned when rehearsing it with Barbie and Ken). Nonetheless, it is a dream that you get to live.  Don’t search for the next best thing, when you are living the best thing right now.  Embracing “no” releases stress from saying yes!

Blessings for a great day!
Heather Hoerst
RealLifeMomsGroup.com

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