Don’t Fix Me, Just Love Me

“(Teaching) children is vastly more than fixing what is wrong with them. It is about identifying and nurturing their strongest qualities.” (Seligman)

Many parents believe that we should “fix” our children. Our natural response is to correct their mistakes and faults. Rather than being models and guides we become their judges and critics.

But “fixing” really only teaches our children one thing:

“I am not good enough. I make mistakes all the time. I can’t do anything right.”

Rather than fixing our children, they need our love and understanding. Rather than reprimanding a rude child and ignoring reasons for rudeness, we might ask why she’s been nasty. We may find that she is exhausted from a big day at school, or has been taunted by a sibling.

Setting limits with understanding and love takes longer – and far more effort – than fixing. But our kids don’t need to be fixed. They do better when they’re loved and understood.

what your child needs from you
A practical manual for creating a connected family, What Your Child Needs From You delivers concrete strategies to help parents build meaningful relationships with their children.
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