An Ode to My Skinny Jeans

Warning: this ode contains some ‘country and western’ spelling…

Skinny jeans, You dun me wrong

We used to have a deal

You fit me just right, you kept everything where it should be

I washed you in the Miele, no higher than 40 degrees,

Just the way you liked it…

But something has changed between you and me

You keep wishing on some imaginary thigh gap

But I haven’t had one since I was fourteen

It’s just not working, and it’s time for you to leave

I’m returning to my first love…. the Frock

Frocks never would scoff at my thighs

As my body changes with each new child

Frocks don’t judge, so from now on…

I’m going to dress like it’s 1955.

 

Photo from Free Images.

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